Hello strangers of the internet (though to be fair – the few of you that may actually read this, I probably know IRL)., I thought it was finally time I woke up this blog (considering the 100 hours/pounds/dollars I spent creating it ‘when blogging was coool’) and post a little life/status update (how veryyy Gen Y of me!).
Since stepping back from posting on all forms of social media in the last few months (read this dietitian/nutritionist was burnt out and sick to deathhhh about talking/arguing over food/health matters), to prioritise my actual job (working with most often sick people with cancer and clients experiencing true trauma manifesting in disordered eating and mental health concerns), I’ve now realised how much I actually miss writing and the many creative outlets I used to dedicate time to.
Sooo, here we are. I’m not sure what this is / what this will become, but my anxious brain needs a vesicle for all the thoughts that constantly circle it, and the more I’ve been spending time having honest, real life conversations with friends/colleagues/strangers on the tube (jokes: you do not talk to other humans on the tube) in London, the more I’ve realised the benefit of being able to share one’s thoughts unfiltered. So this is what I hope to provide: a space where you share your thoughts and I share mine, a space for honest dialogue, because we all know the ultimate warmth and reassurance provided when you share something with someone and they go ‘me too’. Connecting on a fundamental level on the ultimate commonality of being ‘human’.
As a bit of a side note: for those that really have no idea about my doings/whereabouts (not that I expect you to care haha), here’s a bit of a life/thoughts update:
-I’ve now been living in London a year. Yes, it’s a busy, fast paced place where you get used to queuing in an orderly fashion, and letting out your aggressions in the most passive, non-disruptive way. A place where you’ll spend more time at the pub than the gym (if you’re normal anyway) and spend most of your income on the tube and renting a flat the size of your parents’ kitchen back home, for triple their mortgage… BUT, I LOVE IT SO.
-I’ve worked in the NHS since moving: in haematology (most often young people dealing with blood cancer) and now in upper gastrointestinal surgery (with people needing surgery to remove tumours in the oesophagus and stomach) AND in gastroenterology (IBS/functional gut disorders). I did, however, work with Laura, Jess and the legends at The London Centre of Intuitive Eating for a while, working with folks experiencing all spectrums of disordered eating and I absolutely adored my clients and this work… BUT here’s the thing, I realised the HARD WAY that working 6 days a week helping others, is rewarding (YES) but over time downright disrespectful to one’s own mental health and work/life balance (or similar). I’ve also had the chance to partner with some rad young people with cancer, health professionals and the charity Trekstock to work on some cool (and hopefully helpful) projects too!
-I’ve barely done any travelling since moving (read above: becomes workaholic) so I’m keen to change that in the coming year.
-I’ve also realised London can be an incredibly lonely place, even when you’re surrounded by people constantly, but thanks to the most amazing flatmates and friends from here and abroad, it’s mostly been okay! It’s not for everyone though, so I’m making more of a mission to talk to more strangers and check on that friend that seems ‘a-okay’.
-Surprise, surprise, said mid 20’s worries about ‘getting closer to 30, not having a significant relationship, enough money to buy property in the foreseeable future and constantly questioning one’s career decisions’ do not magically disappear when you relocate to a foreign country. And that you realise it’s totally okay to need to talk about this and get therapy (if I had a 100 pounds a week to drop on it that is). In theory though, completely acceptable and encouraged.
-In the last year, I’ve stopped cooking/baking, taking photos and being obsessed with trying out the latest new café (still coffee obsessed don’t worry!) and do you know what that is A-OKAY with me. I’m all about eating things I fancy and making time to share food with friends, when you can manage to book people in.
-Yep, when one moves to London, one needs to learn that seeing people involves an elaborate scheduling exercise, the conversational equivalent of ‘Twister’ (if you haven’t played that game – you’re missing out’, and that you’ll need to pin someone down 6-8 weeks in advance. This is completely acceptable to me now, but boy does it shock the newer expats from home. Londoners wear the ‘busy’ badge like nobody else.
-Also books: I’m re-learning the art of being able to sit down and focus on a passage of words for more than 30 seconds (damn you social/online media for ruining my concentration span!), and supporting the ongoing prosperity of Waterstones and Amazon, honestly my room resembles a walk in library currently.
-I’ve also realised, that I’ll never run a marathon or love the gym, (I ain’t regretful one bit), but that my incapacity to deal with slow walkers – means I walk up a lot of escalators/stairs and take people dodging to whole new art form!), which hopefully keeps me somewhat fit?!
-BUT… I assure you it’s not all bad and I’m not having a whinge (I really do love it here!): except when no one gets my sarcastic one liners, ie. quick way to end a date. Ha! Where else is it socially acceptable to wear trainers/sneakers 95% of the time, be able to get a train every 2 mins and have no-one bat an eyelid if you’re in the pub before 10am. Just don’t try doing your weekly food shop after 4pm on a Sunday, unless you want to leave with severe anxiety (NB: supermarkets close at 5pm here guys: yes, my Aus pals, I hear you gasp!).
-Have I been homesick? Yes… not enough to move home (sorry mum + dad), but mostly at times when you just want a hug and it’s (mostly) socially unacceptable to demand that sort of physical contact from a Brit.
Overall, London has made me harden up (in a good way), appreciate the smaller things in life (working with cancers patients / having family members battling cancer, is a sure-fire way to increase appreciation of the special-ness and finite nature that is messy, human life!) and also realise the importance of prioritising mental health AND talking openly.
So enough of the ‘ I have everything together façade’, this is REAL LIFE, you only have ONE LIFE, so it’s about time we all just start being honest about it. I’m holding out a ‘cuppa’ (cup of tea) to you. My ears are always open for a chat!
And also…how would you guys feel about a podcast? Thinking of starting one, because who doesn’t love to hear millennials whingeing (I can feel my parents and their friends profuse eye rolling right now). I’d love to bring some of these honest conversations to the forefront…because, yes parents, I know life only gets harder as you age BUT it ain’t a piece of cake being in your mid 20’s either. Have you tried being on dating apps? Sigh.
Anyways signing off for now, if you’ve actually read this, then thank you fellow human on the internet, my brain is feeling a lot calmer now, and I’ll probably get in less trouble from my flatmates, if it helps me do less ‘waking them up making cups of tea in the middle of the night because #insomnia’.